Saturday, August 20, 2011

Numb

I am feeling really numb, it hasn't really hit me that my Mum has died. I think it might the day of the funeral. I don't know, my grief is kind of all over the place. Grieving for my Mum and Max and everything we have lost not having these two beautiful souls in our lives. I know they are together and I believe that they are happy and at peace. It's this sense I am getting.

My family has been busy organising my Mums funeral, we are a big family 5 siblings. So by the time everyone has their say, and is delegated something well it takes time. Some things my Mum had already decided on, like what dress she wanted to wear but not until her final days, because according to her she wasn't going anywhere and it wasn't until she was ready that she bought it up. Unlike with Max we had pretty much everything organised, even though it was really difficult at the time to talk about it, it made everything soooo much easier during this difficult time.

I have so much to say but I am feeling pretty exhausted, emotionally drained and also due to lack of sleep.

8 comments:

Jenny Jones said...

Thinking of you V, and praying for you & your family. Jx

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I can't imagine how the heart takes something as enormous as the loss of a mother in. I have to believe that it takes days/weeks/months... perhaps years... to truly sink in. Holding you in my heart.

Tammy H said...

Losing a parent is something that we carry with us forever, praying for you and you family.

BigP's Heather said...

Thinking of you and your family.
Sending love across the miles.

sharah said...

Thinking of you and your family.

Melissa said...

Losing your husband and your mother in such a short time...brain and heart overload, Vee. Honestly. One of my closest friends lost her 8 year old, her mother and then her husband (all in a couple of years) to cancer. I don't know from where she (or you) got the strength.

It's going to take some time, and I imagine it will come in stages. Certainly after the funeral, a little of reality sinks in.

My heart is going out to you. More than you can imagine.

Bea said...

A very exhausting process. One step at a time.

Bea

Lut C. said...

I hope you're able to comfort each other, between siblings.