Tuesday, August 23, 2011


I am angry, angry, angry! I don't get angry very often. I am making up for it now. I am angry with my family, angry with my friends, angry with Boo, and at the universe. Just pissed off is what I am.

I am feeling so lonely, I have a huge family and heaps of friends but I feel like have no one to hold me when I am cry. I am missing Max terribly, he used to always be there for me, to listen to me, to hold me. I need to feel his embrace right now. So we can cry in each others arms.

Fuck the universe.


Melissa said...

There isn't a single word I can say that makes this better for you. But I can't say nothing.

I've been thinking about you from afar. Wishing you well. I can't say don't feel angry, or don't feel sad. You know as well as I do that you have to walk through all of this shit to emerge from it. ANd you haven't even had a chance to get through the first lot.

Honestly. Random, non-creepy-internet-stalker hugs for you. It's all I have. Just an 'I'm sorry'.

annacyclopedia said...

It is right to be angry at everything right now, Vee. I would be angry, too.

Wishing you peace when the anger recedes and comfort in the ways you need it. Huge love to you. xoxox

edenland said...

I'm thinking of you heaps Vee.

Feels useless, because what good does that do?

Love to you mate. Love and love. And reprieves, from how you feel. You know how you get a breath of air and you think, oh, I'm ok right now here in this second?


Serenity said...

I'd be angry too.

Sending you lots of love and peace. Thinking of you all the time, sweetie.


lparsons15 said...

You have every right to be pissed off at the world..you have been dealt a crappy hand...I don't really know what to say, but just know that you are in my thoughts everyday.

Peg said...

I know that feeling of anger all too well. I am really sorry for all that you have had to deal with. Hang in there.

Gil said...

Holding you tightly from across the miles. God I wish I were closer so I could be with you and support you and help you more honey. Everyone needs someone to hold them, some soft place to fall. You deserve that. It's virtual, but know that my arms hug tightly and my shoulder is great for crying on. Love to you and Boo, and your whole family as you mourn the loss of your beautiful Mum.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say Vee, it is understandable you have been through too much. I am so sorry and sad for you, your Dad and Boo.
I know exactly how you feel, I am still angry that my mum was taken so soon. That she is not here to share my life and happiness and the smallest things we take for granted. Thinking of you, your Dad and family on this most difficult day.
I never wanted this day to come where I had to say good-bye to my much loved beautiful mum, I am so lonely without her in my life too.
May your mum and my mum be happy together in heaven with the angels looking over them to protect them.
Wish I was there for you to give you a hug, and for the tears to flow freely.
Love Mary xxx

luna said...

oh vee, there are no good words.

I was so sorry to hear about your mum. so sorry that you have yet another loss and void to live with.

anger is such a normal part of this. it's the injustice of it all, the lack of a good target to direct our frustration. the sorrow.

just sending you a big virtual hug from across the pacific. lots of love to you. xo

Lut C. said...

Who wouldn't be angry in your shoes? Who wouldn't feel lonely?

Anything I write can only be a band-aid on a wooden leg. :-(