Numb

I am feeling really numb, it hasn't really hit me that my Mum has died. I think it might the day of the funeral. I don't know, my grief is kind of all over the place. Grieving for my Mum and Max and everything we have lost not having these two beautiful souls in our lives. I know they are together and I believe that they are happy and at peace. It's this sense I am getting.

My family has been busy organising my Mums funeral, we are a big family 5 siblings. So by the time everyone has their say, and is delegated something well it takes time. Some things my Mum had already decided on, like what dress she wanted to wear but not until her final days, because according to her she wasn't going anywhere and it wasn't until she was ready that she bought it up. Unlike with Max we had pretty much everything organised, even though it was really difficult at the time to talk about it, it made everything soooo much easier during this difficult time.

I have so much to say but I am feeling pretty exhausted, emotionally drained and also due to lack of sleep.