Monday, July 26, 2010

A Few Words

I am trying to write Max's epitaph. I need to finalise something by tomorrow so they can get the plaque made in time. It just needs to be short but I just can't get the wording together. I keep typing and deleting, typing and deleting. I am really struggling. My mind has gone blank. I have so much to say yet so little. This is something that is written for forever. On his gravestone forever. I need to get it right, I am scared I won't do Max justice. It needs to be perfect. He deserves it to be prefect.

And now I am just crying. I just wish I didn't have to do this at all.

8 comments:

serenitynowinfertile said...

Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry you have to do this at all, too.

Hugs and love and peace to you today.

xxx

Pundelina said...

It's just too awful :(

I'm always thinking of you Vee - I'm sure that whatever you put will be just right.

(((hugs)))

Kimberly said...

What you settle on *will* be perfect, because it will come with all of your love and all of the love you shared.

I'm sorry. I can't fully grasp how hard all of this is. Still thinking of you all - xoxo

DaisyGal said...

I agree, no matter what you say, what you write, it will be perfect because you knew and loved him like no one else, no one can do him justice but you.
just take a deep breath and write it.

Love you xox

annacyclopediaisworkingonit said...

Maybe you're done already, but does it help to think that maybe the words are going to be inadequate no matter how perfect they are? I don't think any words could express Max's personality or your love for each other. I know you will find the right words, though - you are good with words, Vee.

I wish you didn't have to do this, either. Sending you the biggest, tightest hug. XO

jill said...

Thinking of you. I agree with the other comments. You probably won't be able to find something that seems perfect to you right now because your love for him is so great and your grief is so fresh. But, whatever you write will be perfect.

*hug*

Miss Ruby said...

It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be from the heart. If it's from the heart, it's truthful and honest, caring and filled with love and won't be wrong.

Unfortunately no one is perfect -(though I know in our eyes our loved ones usually are) and that's good. Perfection is overrated, once you reach it there is nothing left to strive for and it's our imperfections that make us who we are. They make people love us despite them in fact sometimes because of them. It's taken me 31 years to realise that but I'm glad I have because I'm revealing in my imperfections.

So don't strive for perfection Vee, instead strive for an honest account of Max and what he meant to you. Don't put so much pressure on yourself - just remember you can't say the wrong thing.

Big hugs

xxxx

maytey said...

Have you tried writing it by hand? Might make it seem a bit less impersonal for you maybe. Wishing you strength. xx