There is a big plastic bag in the our house that is tired closed with a big knot, it is pink but translucent so I can see it's contents. It has your full name written with a big black marker on the outside. Inside are the clothes you were wearing, the red top I looked everywhere for because you wanted to wear bright colours. Also inside is your pillow with the bright lime green cover on it. When the ambulance guy took you to the hospital he suggested you take your own pillow because the ones there where really uncomfortable, so we did. You took your last breath on that pillow. You rested your head and said goodbye to this world.
I want to rest my head and press my cheeks into your pillow and cry. I want to take in all your scent. I want to take in every bit of you. But I can't, I can't bring myself to open that bag. I am not ready, instead I just cry thinking about it and constantly thinking of you. The plastic bag sits in the wardrobe waiting for that day when I can.
Fuck, I miss you so much babe.