Thursday, May 19, 2011

Pulling Down the Barriers

Yesterday was a huge day for me, I finally started doing something I had been putting off for so long. I cleaned out the home office. Boo was at daycare and I had promised myself that Wednesday was the day. In the past I kept making excuses, putting up barriers. For example, I needed a paper shredder , because I really can't leave all of Max's private files unshredded. I could, I mean I could put them in a big pile and shred them at a later date. Not having a shredder was not really what was stopping me from going through the office. So I did it, I went through all of *Max's paper work, all his medical files, his books and photo albums. I tried not to stop and flick through too many photo albums or it would have taken me a week to get done what I did in a day. I was doing really well until I found our wedding guest book and started reading comments left by our family and friends. I just lost it and sobbed, holding the book close to my heart and reading all the beautiful well wishes from family and friends, of growing old together and hopes of our lives filled with much love and happiness. There was no long life together, it was way too short. After a good cry I continued to pack, yep I decided whilst I was doing it I may as well start packing even though I haven't found a home yet I figured perhaps if I start packing something may come my way. There is still heaps to do in the office, but I feel much better for finally making a good start. I know have some stuff packed, some stuff to sell on eBay and some stuff to sell at a garage sale which I am thinking of holding in the near future.

When I said in my last post "I have so many things I want/need to do but until I find a new home and get settled in it's not going to happen." It's not true. That is an excuse just another barrier I have put up for myself. Ok well it may be partially true but there are somethings I can start doing now, one of them is to get fit. There is lots going on in my life at the moment, heaps of social events, I have parties coming out of my ears this month. I am enjoying them though it has been great spending fun times with family and friends. Anyway I digress. To give myself a goal to work towards, I have signed up for the Sydney City 2 Surf. to raise funds for the Rainbows For Kate Foundation it is held on the 14th of August. I am pretty darn excited about it! I wont be running it, that would be just nuts I am big fat boomba and don't want to have a heart attack running up Heartbreak Hill, it's called that for a reason! I will be walking it and pushing Boo in the stroller. Perhaps my goal for next year is to run it, why not think big hey.

I am now going to call out to all my blogging friends to join me. Yep you! Will you join Boo and I ? Do the City2 Surf with us and help raise funds for Sarcoma cancers and others like Max.
Oh you don't live in Sydney? Why not take a trip? Yeah I know that is ridiculous, but hey I thought I would just put it out there for anyone that is thinking of visiting Sydney, August is a nice time of year, not too hot and not too cold, ok maybe still a little bit cold. And for my Sydneysider blogging friends I would LOVE to meet you and what a great way to do it! Come on join us, it will be fun.
So who is in??

* I know that Max's real name has been launched into the blogospehere which I fine with however I would still like to call him Max on my blog.


Lut C. said...

I'm very good at putting things off as well. Good that you got started and made progress in the home office.

If I could step through a portal and back, I'd join the walk - but now I'll just have to cheer you on from afar.

Bea said...

Well done. Very well done. Making a start is so hard, and you are now further along the road to getting through it bit by bit. And wise idea on the packing - why not start now? It'll be that much less when you need to move later on.

As for city to surf... hm... August... things seem to be accumulating in Australia in August, I'm just saying... but anyway I will definitely sponsor you. That part's for sure!


Calliope said...

oh wow. That is a huge thing to begin. huge.
I say this as a person that still very much has a storage unit full of boxes that have yet to be gone through...

Also? I know what you mean about saying that statements are barriers - but I also think that there IS some truth to "I have so many things I want/need to do but until I find a new home and get settled in it's not going to happen."

Of course you can do things now - but I hope you are being gentle on yourself too.

serenity said...

I will most DEFINITELY sponsor you.

And a trip to Australia is for certain a surety in our future. Just don't think we can do this coming August though. :(


lparsons15 said...

Good for you for taking that on...I am sure it was a huge challenge.
I live worlds away from Sydney..boy would I like to visit Australia some day.

stink-bomb said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
stink-bomb said...

if i wasn't so financially challenged at the moment, i could think of no better reason to visit Sydney but alas...

re packing, whenever we've moved, i've started packing months in advance, anything we didn't NEED to use on a semi daily basis, got packed away. it made it so much easier once the time came to move, so less to pack up in a mad hurry!


Kir said...

wow, girlfriend what a strong thing you did that day. I am so sorry that your heart has to break over and over again, but look at you..doing it. You're amazing woman!!!

Australia, are you kidding, I'd love it. If I win the lottery I am THERE. :) You have no idea how much I'd love that. xo