Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Our Trip Part 3

Before I left for the trip I made sure to pack some photos of Max from the trip we had there together. I wanted him to be with us too. The whole time I thought I would do something special with them and perhaps leave his photos on our favourite beach or something I hadn't decided but in the end I bought his photos back with us, we completed the journey together. I did however purchase a tile that will be added to the construction of the Big Buddha which is still not completed and wrote a note for him on it. I was happy he would be remembered there and be part of it and hopefully some day we can go back there to see it completed.

I missed Max a lot on our trip, I kept imagining him with us and experiencing all the the things we did together and how he would have reacted to them. I imagined how very proud he would have been of his boy every time someone gave him any attention, how proud he would be to be his Daddy. I walked passed the hotel we stayed at many times as it was across the beach and on the way to the markets and every time I would just stop out the front of it remembering the good times Max and I had there. And every time I had tears. He would have loved this trip so much, I just wish he was with us. Fuck you cancer!

I have heaps more to say about this trip but going by the amount of comments I have yapping about it, it doesn't seem like anyone is interested. I will leave it at this because now I am just crying and missing Max.

13 comments:

Pundelina said...

Oh sweetie, it must have been so sad for you to be there and without Max. But yet, lovely to be on holiday with your boy and being relaxed and adored. I've just read your trip reports and I'm loving them so do keep writing them. So glad you got a tile for the Buddha, that's a lovely thing to do in remembrance.

((hugs)) and love and always thinking of you and Boo.

Bea said...

Just struggling to keep pace, is all - not lack of interest!

The tile was a good idea. I had been wondering about your thoughts of Max during the trip. I love that his pictures made the journey with you, I only wish it could have been Max himself.

Bea

Miss Ruby said...

i'm here and reading albeit a bit late [struggling to keep up with life in general at the moment!] and am loving reading about your trip!

i'm glad you enjoyed yourself but i'm also sad that Max was able to be there with you.

sending you loads of hugs Vee and Boo too!

~x~

planningdoesntwork said...

I'm here and reading too. It sounds like a lovely trip.
I wish Max could have been there too.

Delenn said...

Just caught up! I really liked your Toddler Trip advice! Sounds like you had a wonderfully memorable time and Max was there in spirit at least. I like the Big Buddha tile--something tangible to visit, remember from the trip. Glad you had a good time.

BigP's Heather said...

I'm reading but I such at commenting - I'm sorry!!

I have actually really loved reading this so much. Please do write more!

Lurker 24 said...

I am reading too, just not much of a "commenter". That doesn't mean we don't enjoy hearing about your trip or empathize with your pain of loss......

Kim in FL said...

Oh, I am just like some of the others, I read, enjoy & cry along with you, but I'm a terrible commenter. I'm sorry. I love that you got a tile with a message on it, very special. And I hate what happened to Max - damn cancer sucks.

Princess Jo said...

Oh - I have just caught up! I swapped web browsers and 'lost' your blog!

Thinking of you!

Anonymous said...

I'm reading too, but I haven't anything to say, rather a lot to learn from your experience!

lparsons15 said...

I am interested and reading..I just suck at commenting!

Lut C. said...

I'm catching up generally.

A lovely gesture, the tile for the statue.

And it is really, really unfair that Max couldn't be there with you.

jill said...

Was totally behind (again) but I read all your trip posts and was very interested! Loved all the pics. Sending *hugs* - missing Max while you were there must have been very difficult. Max would have been happy that you went!