Sunday, December 26, 2010

Popping the Bon Bon

Boo got spoiled rotten by family and friends for Christmas. He played, he laughed, he slept, he ate, he swam, he sang Christmas songs he had a great day.

I was doing really well yesterday. Until it was time to sit down for lunch and everyone started popping their bon bons. I turned to my brother-in-law who was sitting beside me and we popped one. Everyone was laughing and enjoying their moment. It was then that I lost it, the tears started streaming I left the table and room quietly unnoticed and sat on the couch and balled my eyes out. Max should have been there sitting beside me, we should have been popping our bon-bons together. He should have been there doing what he loved, enjoying all the great food and beer and company, cracking jokes and laughing with his nephews and nieces.

It's just not fair, why was he taken from us? It's just fucked.

Today, Boxing Day is 10 years since Max and I met. I will write that story one day.
But for now I just need to cry.


Delenn said...

Oh, Vee. It is just so unfair that he is not with you celebrating. [[Hugs]]

Miss Ruby said...

I'm a big believer in the belief that crying is good for the soul. I never feel better than after a really good cry, regardless of the reason WHY I was crying.

I know he wasn't there there Vee but he was there with you...I promise.

Big hugs my friend and I'm SO glad that you spent the day surrounded by loved ones, even if the one you love the most wasn't there physically.


maytey said...

That's so understandable Vee. Big big hugs from me. I'm glad Boo had a great time; he was very fortunate to be born into your big warm family :) xxx

Kristin said...

Oh Vee, it's not fair at all and my heart is breaking for you. I'm glad there were happy moments with Boo in between the sorrow. {{{Hugs}}} and love

Bea said...

In my books, you did well. It doesn't make any sense, you're right. I can't explain it.

I am glad that Boo enjoyed his day, though.

Happy meeting anniversary to you and Max.


Carol Scibelli said...

It does suck, but it gets easier. My husband died in April 2006...but my kids were grown...he was 56...I know that your husband and son...such a young family...It does feel like he was just plucked...I always say...everyone still here doing what HE should be enjoying too. It's like the stork (I don't really believe in the stork...hahaha) who brought him - picked him up and flew away with him.
Keep're wonderful...

jill said...

Stopping by to give another *hug*. Not the way a 10th anniversary should be, but wishing you both happy anniversary anyway.

Lut C. said...

It is unfair, very much so. And it's ok to cry.
I strongly dislike crying in front of other people, but sometimes there's just no escape.

You were there, joining in, that is doing well - even if you needed to cry.

Anonymous said...

Vee - tears are allowed at let them flow as necessary. You have made it through that first Christmas, and you managed to participate and make it a lovely Christmas for Boo.

I hope you will write of your first meeting with Max, but only when you are ready. What a wonderful event to share with Boo in years to come. I am sure the tale of your meeting will be one of fun and love (at first sight?)

Even in the midst of this sorrow, these ten years are worthy of observation. How wonderful you met Max, and Max met you. There must be something special you can do to celebrate the occasion...I am sure your creative mind will find a way to mark this anniversary.

Love to you, and your Baby named Boo!

LS x