You may recall that I was struggling writing his epitaph. But I did it and I got it done in time so I could have his memorial done the day before his birthday. I just started typing a post about the events of that morning but I was getting angry, again. I was totally fuming I cried and let out swear words left right and centre and writing about it just made me bring on the emotions again. So in brief there was no record of his plaque or a booking for his memorial, yeah you would be pretty pissed too right?.....anyway....
His memorial went ahead but minus his plaque, which wont be ready for ANOTHER 6 WEEKS! Sorry it still makes me really angry. Ok breath, it's pointless getting angry all over again.
There was a small gathering of my family and also our GP who really wanted to be there. She had missed his funeral because she was overseas. My Mum couldn't make it as she was still in hospital, but she wrote Max a poem which I am yet to read, I am not ready to read it yet. I was going to read the same poem from Max's funeral but I was too emotional so I asked my nephew to read it for me.
After the poem was read, I took Max's urn in my hands and kissed him a final goodbye and placed it in his plot whilst the tears streamed down and the sobs commenced. I took a little spade of sand and buried Max. It was so strange to be holding him in my hands. I just couldn't believe it was him, my beautiful Max, there in a jar. Life is so cruel. Bubbaboo sat by side and helped me shovel the sand in. Then everyone had a turn to place some sand in the hollow until his urn was fully buried. I had printed out the words that would go on his plaque and it was stuck down temporarily on his plot. That was the best I could do in the time I had. I was so disappointed. I took Max some Australian native flowers, the same kind he wanted on his coffin and placed them beside him. My sister picked some Lavender from her garden and placed them also. Max often reminisced of playing in the Lavender fields in the French countryside as a child so they were perfect. I so hope Max is resting now, I know I wont be completely content till his plaque is in place but I hope he is ok without it.
It was a truly challenging and emotional day.
Rest In Peace My Beautiful Husband.
|Bubbaboo visiting his Daddy on Sunday, Fathers Day.|