Thursday, October 28, 2010

Cyber World

After Max passed away I didn't know what to do about his online presence. He has accounts everywhere including his Blogs, Deviant Art, RedBubble, Facebook and gaming sites. Like most of us do.

I had just let them go until I had made a decision. I had decided that I do want people to continue to view his art and photography on his creative sites. Actually he even sold a card recently on RB. He had sold a few pieces but couldn't collect his earnings till he had made $100. I think it would take him a long time to reach that, so I am not concerned at all. Plus they donated his wonderful artworks to the RFK fundraiser so I am very happy for them to keep his funds. However Facebook is different, it's personal. It kept requesting me and others to "reconnect" with Max because we hadn't been in touch for a while and this was after he had passed. It was quite upsetting for everyone. Then my nephew informed me that I could request FB to memorialise his profile. Where everything continues to stay up and people can write on his wall when ever they wish but those reminders to "reconnect" would be no longer. So I made the request and it was done, which was great. It gave me time to think about what to do with his profile.

Last night after noticing that Max's FB profile was disabled it hit me like a tonne of bricks that I wanted to keep his profile up, I needed it to be there. I was so upset that it had been pulled down, especially after a particularly difficult and emotional day and missing him terribly. There was no reason for it being disabled it was just there, then it wasn't. I felt like he had been taken away from me again. I know that sounds crazy, but I was really torn up by it. I wrote to FB letting them know and to put it back ASAP and they did. I was so relieved I thought they would come back to me and say it was gone forever. It makes me happy knowing that he is still there and he still has his friends around who every now and then write on his wall. So they can reconnect when they feel like it and not when it is thrown in their face.

So my decision is made and I am not touching any of it, Max is still out there in cyber world, forever.

What would you do ?


Bea said...

What would I do? I have no idea.

I'm just really relieved to hear that they were able to restore the account as you wished. I guess the upside is you now know how you feel about it a bit better... but the cost, of course, being that awful feeling and after such a hard day. What timing.


Anonymous said...

My college band director was a huge fan of FB, and I was one of his early "friends." It made me so sad to see his profile disappear, mostly because I always wanted to count him among my friends. But recently his family did the same thing you did - memorialize his profile. I love it, and I think I'd want that for J if he had passed.

I'm really relieved that they were able to restore it for you, Vee. I've been thinking of you and Bubbaboo a lot in the past few days; sending you love.


lparsons15 said...

I am not sure what I would do..But I think you made the right decision for you. I am so glad they were able to restore it for you.

Delenn said...

I think so much of our lives now are in cyberspace, it is a fitting way to remember someone we have lost (as much as photos, videos are also memories of that person).

Lollipop Goldstein said...

I will admit that I've visited his sites since he has passed. I went back on Dynamo Dad because that's where I associate him the most. My connection with Max was really through his words and his art.

ecb said...

Given my lovley husband doesn't hang out in cyber land at all I wouldn't have this quandry. But I do like the idea that those of us who do live in cyber land get to continue to live there even after we are gone. I think keeping it all there is a lovely idea.

OHN said...

I would absolutely do the same if my husband,kids, anyone I love had a Fbook. When someone posted a note to the wall, I would know they are thinking of him too.