Two Words

Thank you. 
All of you.
Yes you and you.
For being here for me, through another tough time in my life, the death of my beautiful mother.
Still grieving Max and then dealing with the death of my mum has been difficult, I probably haven't written about it as much as I have wanted to only because I can't express this grief and the feelings I have in words. So I stay silent. I don't like being silent on my blog. I need to write. I hope to write more in the new year.

I am also hoping for a better year next year. With good things happening around me, some changes, some travel and getting my business truly up and running.

I wish you and your families a very Happy New Year. Have fun and stay safe.

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I have to share this photo I just found whilst looking through some old ones. Max took it.

He loved his stuffed animals, I have mentioned that before. If he went to bed before me, he would always tuck a couple these little guys in on my side of the bed to greet me before I went to sleep. They always put a smile on my face. It was a nice little memory to have.

Merry Christmas And All That.

It certainly was a strange Christmas, quiet. I spent it split between my two brothers homes. One for lunch then the other for coffee, dessert and swim. The sun finally shown in Sydney. If you haven't heard already from all the whinging, Sydney has had a shitty wet and cool Summer, so far. It's raining as I type. But we were fortunate to get a swim in yesterday which was great. Boo had a wonderful day, he was really into Christmas this year, he was wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. It is just too cute to hear him say that. He loved opening his presents. It was so delightful to watch him.

I missed my Mum a lot and Max too. For Christmas Eve, I went to the Mary McKillop Chapel. My Mum used to go there once a month when they had a special service. I never went with her. I wish I had. I cried through the Christmas service whilst every one was singing Holy Night, regretting that I had never sat on the pew with her. I know she was there with me.

I made Christmas cards this year, like I do every year only this year I didn't send them. I didn't want to, I didn't have the same Christmas spirit. So I didn't.

I hope all that celebrated had a lovely day with family and friends. I tried. I mostly succeeded.

All About a Boy I call Boo

Age- 2 Years 3 months 25 Days
Weight Approx- 15kg
Height Approx- 92cm

He is very funny, he has a wonderful sense of humour.
He is a very happy boy except for when he doesn't get his way.
He is very cheeky and is constantly in trouble.
He is very affectionate and gives random kisses and cuddles.
He has lots of girlfriends. One particular one, they are very fond of each other.

Here they are in action!

He has just discovered the word "mine" so EVERYTHING belongs to him.
But he does love to share...most of the time. He wont eat something without making sure his little friends have one too, what ever it may be.

His language has been delayed but in the last few weeks he has discovered new words and strings them into sentences, he constantly surprises me.
Mummy gone. More pasta please. My turn. Cockadoodle doo is his word for the week. He has had problems breathing at night with a stuffy nose for quite some time now.
He constantly wakes of a night, I don't recall the last time he actually slept through the entire night. Mainly because he can't breath. He is an early riser, he is usually up anywhere between 5 and 6am. It makes for one very tired Mummy.
We have been down the allergy route but have recently discovered that he has obstructive sleep apnea and glue ear. Both possibly affecting his speech. He has had a hearing test and all is well with his hearing. He just chooses not to hear me at times!
He is booked in for the 23rd of Jan to have his tonsils and adenoids out and grommets put in his ears.
I'm really not looking forward to it, but I am hoping it will sort out his issues. Well the surgeon tells me it will! If his speech doesn't improve after his surgery, I will look into getting him into a speech pathologist.


He has his favourite teddy that he sleeps with and drags him around the house when he is tired.
His favourite movies are Toy Story 1 & 2 and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
His favourite TV shows are, Charlie and Lola and Fireman Sam.
His favourite books are any Charlie and Lola book, Upsy Down Town and The Little Yellow Digger.
He loves playing with trucks, his play kitchen and his Woody doll. Santa is bringing him Buzz and Jessie, I can't wait to see his face.
His favourite foods are, sushi, sausages and ravioli.
He loves going on adventures. He is very inquisitive and just takes in his surrounding.
He is a people watcher and is happy to sit in a crowd and watch and learn.

I seriously do not know what I would do if he wasn't in my life.
He makes laugh, he makes me cry with happiness, yes he makes me angry too.
He makes my heart so full and puffy.
I love you lots Boo xx

The Missing Pieces.

Christmas is going to be very different this year....without my Mum, without Max.
By this time my Mum would have baked hundreds of Italian biscuits and made cannoli and all the specials xmas treats she used make. This year we wont be enjoying any of them. It's sad that Boo wont remember her, that he wont remember her love for cooking and food. The wonderful talent she had that bought us all so much joy, that Max was always in awe of. I have been crying a lot for Mum lately, I miss her terribly. It was her birthday on Monday, it was a prticularly hard day to get through, but all the firsts are, I know because I have already experienced it with Max. I just need to get through this Christmas the best I can and enjoy it for my Boo's sake.

Boo helped me put the Christmas tree up yesterday. He loved helping. The only problem is that he has continued to put the decorations up and down on the tree since yesterday! It was a bittersweet moment, watching him put the decorations up. It was something I always wanted to share with Max. I kept thinking of the discussions I had with Max about when we would upgrade our tree and it was always wait till we have kids and we will get a bigger better one then. So now I have a kid, a bigger tree but no Max.

I bought Boo a Little People Nativity set and gave it to him once we had completed putting the tree up. He loves it. I really gave this gift to him on behalf of my Mum, I know that if she had seen it she would have wanted to buy it for him. You see ever since I can remember, my mother put out a nativity. She would lay down the plastic fake grass and build her nativity with all her ceramic pieces that she had bought from Italy when we went there when I was 5. Over the years some of the pieces had broken and were cracked or glued backed together, it had gone through all of us kids. It didn't come out for a few years not until the grandchildren started arriving then out it came again, every Christmas up until the last.

So now we have our own nativity and I want to put it up every year and remember my Mum.

*Boo insists that the lamb should be in the manger instead of baby Je-sus.