By this time my Mum would have baked hundreds of Italian biscuits and made cannoli and all the specials xmas treats she used make. This year we wont be enjoying any of them. It's sad that Boo wont remember her, that he wont remember her love for cooking and food. The wonderful talent she had that bought us all so much joy, that Max was always in awe of. I have been crying a lot for Mum lately, I miss her terribly. It was her birthday on Monday, it was a prticularly hard day to get through, but all the firsts are, I know because I have already experienced it with Max. I just need to get through this Christmas the best I can and enjoy it for my Boo's sake.
Boo helped me put the Christmas tree up yesterday. He loved helping. The only problem is that he has continued to put the decorations up and down on the tree since yesterday! It was a bittersweet moment, watching him put the decorations up. It was something I always wanted to share with Max. I kept thinking of the discussions I had with Max about when we would upgrade our tree and it was always wait till we have kids and we will get a bigger better one then. So now I have a kid, a bigger tree but no Max.
I bought Boo a Little People Nativity set and gave it to him once we had completed putting the tree up. He loves it. I really gave this gift to him on behalf of my Mum, I know that if she had seen it she would have wanted to buy it for him. You see ever since I can remember, my mother put out a nativity. She would lay down the plastic fake grass and build her nativity with all her ceramic pieces that she had bought from Italy when we went there when I was 5. Over the years some of the pieces had broken and were cracked or glued backed together, it had gone through all of us kids. It didn't come out for a few years not until the grandchildren started arriving then out it came again, every Christmas up until the last.
So now we have our own nativity and I want to put it up every year and remember my Mum.
*Boo insists that the lamb should be in the manger instead of baby Je-sus.