Friday, July 1, 2011

It's All Good.

On Tuesday I called the real estate agent to ask when I would find out if I was successful in my application for the house. I was told I would find out on Wednesday, so I went on with my day. It wasn't till late that night when I put my mobile on the charger that I saw I had a missed call. It was the agent telling me apologetically that I had missed out on the house. I was devastated. So tired of trawling through online rental sites to find something that was decent enough to inspect, juggling my Saturdays and choosing houses that were open when Boo wasn't napping. I was tired. The real estate agent had told they didn't discriminate against single parents, but I was so sure they did!

On Wednesday I dropped Boo off a daycare and started on the million and one errands I had to do. When I got a phone call from the real estate agent to tell me that the first tenants application had fallen through and the landlord was happy to take us on. Ok I ate me words maybe they don't discriminate. Whoohooo, I was so excited. I couldn't believe we got the house. I went and paid the deposit that afternoon. I get the keys on the 15th and have the weekend to clean it up before getting the removalists on the 17th. I can't believe we are finally going to have a new home! I was running on adrenalin that afternoon, not knowing what to do first. OMG I need to pack, I need a removalist, I need carpet cleaners I need, I need, I head spinning. I do have lots to do and I will get it done. There was an opening for an extra day at day care nest week so I will be sans Boo for two days, they are the days I intend to get the bulk of the packing done. I intend to hold a garage sale on next Saturday to get rid of a whole heap of stuff too, so lots to organise.

Yesterday whilst driving to my Mum and Dads, it kind all sunk in. That I was leaving the house, the many memories of Max behind. There will be no new memories of Max in the new house and well that makes me really sad. It's one of those situations where, I want to keep the good memories and throw away the bad. The fun times we had in the house, the laughter the love we had. I remember Max calling me into Boo's room before he was born standing over his cot. He put his arms around me and said we are going to have a baby sleeping in there soon. Our baby. He was so excited. He held me and told me he loved me. I want to stand over Boo's cot in THAT room and remember that moment forever, I want to take it with me. Then there are the bad moments of Max collapsing after throwing up from chemo, I had a screaming Boo in my arms and a passed out husband on the laundry floor. That memory can stay. I can't stay here forever and overall, I really think it's a good thing. I know this house is ridiculously expensive and I am going to have to really tighten my belt but apart from that, it's all good. Isn't it?


stink-bomb said...

it is good Vee. i know you don't want to leave Max behind and all the memories of him and you and him in that house but sometimes we have to leave the past behind [in a way] in order to move forward.

my mum is thinking about selling her house and moving and it doesn't sit right with me that she wants to leave the last house that dad lived in [and died in] but then i know that in order to get closer, to start living her life again, to move forward, she needs to move. he will always be with her, me, that won't change.

sending lots of love and good packing vibes!!

a new house, how exciting!!!


lparsons15 said...

Congratulations!! A new house is exciting! You and boo can make new memories, while still remembering Max!

Pundelina said...

oh Wow! You got it Vee!!! That's fantastic news - no more hunting, no more wishing!! I'm so pleased that it happened.

As for the memories, the ones you remember the most are the ones that will consolidate and stay with you forever. For always, in your heart, Max is holding you and loving you.


little chicken said...

So good to hear your getting a new house! Max will still be with you in the new house, just not the same way.

It will be so refreshing and renewing to focus on the packing, the moving, the re-organising of your new place. Stressful... but rewarding.

Best thoughts, hope and prayers coming your way.

BigP's Heather said...

It is good. Congratulations!

I hate moving, I will be thinking of you during this transition and sending you lots of virtual love and packing tape. (Why is there never enough packing tape?)

Delenn said...

Congratulations on the new place! While bittersweet, it is something you are accomplishing that is positive too. :-)

Wishing you luck on packing and resettling!

Kristin said...

Oh Vee, it is good. It's very, very good. Although I've never lost a spouse, I know how hard it was to leave the apartment where my oldest took his first steps and I can only imagine how much harder leaving this house is going to be. But, moving will let you hold on to the happy memories and you won't have the daily reminders of the sad times. Hoping and praying the move goes smoothly.

Leah - Bogue Living said...

Congrats on the new house, I am glad your search has been successful! I think you'd know if staying where you are was the right thing to do - I am sure you will take everything beautiful and happy with you. I imagine it'll be very emotional, sending you my best wishes xxoo

maytey said...

Very, very good :D I can come over one morning next week to play with Luke & Boo while you do something on your list if you like. xx

Gil said...

I am so thrilled for you hon. I am happy you get to start fresh and make new memories with Boo, but I know too that you will take all those precious moments with you in your mind. Take photos, many many photos, of all the places in that house that mean everything to you. Like the door where you and Max walked in as parents. The room that Boo sleeps in and where you and Max made that memory you spoke of, Max's computer room, etc. All those rooms, all those memories... and now you only get to ADD to those memories!

Wishing you luck and love as you pack up and move to your new home with Boo! Let us know how he handles it will you? I'm curious about toddler's thoughts on moving and their concerns.

Lut C. said...

Finally good news on the house front!

So much work to get done though. Too bad I can't come and lend a hand.

Sorting the good memories from the bad, a nice way to look at it. I hope the move allows you to do just that.

Bea said...

Moving is always a time of emotional upheaval, as well as physical. But I think you are ready.


edenland said...

Wow. Huge. Have a feeling it will be a great house for you guys, Vee. XOXOX