Thursday, May 10, 2012

Time Passing

I have seriously been thinking about giving blogging away. But after reading Edens post I realised I need my blog. She writes "When I publish a post, a whole weight has been lifted and I feel lighter as I walk through the world again." I remember that feeling and I want to feel it again. So I am not going anywhere. Perhaps I just needed a break from it for a while. I hope I haven't lost all my readers.

Did you here? Eden won Best Australian Blog 2012, she is amazing and deserves such an honor. Please go over and congratulate her.

So I am still feeling unbalanced. I know I need to make big changes, big decisions but I am not getting anywhere with them really. I have plenty of ideas, I just don't know which fork in the road to take. It's probably the time I need to write it all out and get it out there so I can find some clarity in my thoughts.
 I will do that.

Tomorrow marks 2 years since Max passed away. Two years. I find that hard to believe. I still have that vision of him dying in my head. It has got easier, like most people told me it would. But I still miss him so much. I miss his company, I miss his cuddles, I miss his scent...I just miss him. A few people have asked me what am I going to do tomorrow. I don't know, what do you do to mark two years of your husbands passing? I will go visit him at the cemetery with Boo, I might take him some flowers. I will buy a coffee and sit and hang out with him for a while and have a chat and no doubt a cry. That is what I will do. Then I will take Boo to his swimming lesson, then have a playdate with friends, then drop Boo off at my sisters to stay the night so I can go to the Prince concert with my nephew. I think that is a good balance of grieving and distraction. I hope it is anyway.


9 comments:

Leah - Bogue Living said...

I'm still here I have you in my RSS feeds :)

I think that sounds like a good balance too xx

Pale said...

I am still here. :) And very happy to hear that you are not quitting the blog. I would miss you.

Two years, gosh Vee ... not kidding, it seems like yesterday to me. That took my breath away a little bit.

Ah, forks in the road. They always look better in retrospect. Looking forward to reading about yours; maybe that will help me with mine. ;-) The ones ~I~ am procrastinating. :)

Prince! I'd go. Purple Rain brings back a lot of good memories. Hope the balance feels right (it sounds right). Will be holding you in my good thoughts.

jvoor said...

I'm here too. Wow, two years, that means it has been a year since I found your blog through DI_Dad's blog when he posted in memory of Max. Glad to hear you will keep writing. Blogging is such a release for me too, though I also post fairly unregularly.

Anonymous said...

I don't know if there's a right answer to how you should spend your day. Your plans sound pretty fine to me - but the most important thing is how they feel to you. I hope it feels about as right as you can feel about Max's death.

Bea

Gil said...

You know me; I'm not going anywhere sweetie. I know that your day will be busy, but I'm glad you took the time to celebrate Max's life and grieve a little too with Boo at the cemetery. I also love the idea of attending the Prince concert; that'll be amazing!

Now, one more question for you: Have you thought any further about attending BlogHer? I'm still up for it if you are! I leave it to you. Do let us know. Message me if you wish. You know how to find me.

In the meantime, love and hugs to you and Boo on this day, and always from all of us.

lparsons15 said...

I'm still here..I find it so so hard to believe that its been 2 years since he passed. Take Care!

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you on the 2 year anniversary. Sounds like the day was a special one.
Leez xx

~stinkb0mb~ said...

there is no right way to spend the day, it's a matter of doing what feels right in your heart. two years wow, it doesn't seem that long and yet i can imagine it feels like an eternity to you.

it's good to read an update from you Vee, i've been wondering how you've been doing. i've taken a huge step back from the blogosphere, it's lost some of it's shine for me, tired of reading about people asking for votes and reviews etc that's not blogging for me.

glad to hear you're ok and make sure you enjoy the concert!

~x~

loribeth said...

Two years, wow. It sounds to me like you had the perfect day planned; I hope it worked out the way you wanted it to! (((hugs)))