I have seriously been thinking about giving blogging away. But after reading Edens post I realised I need my blog. She writes "When I publish a post, a whole weight has been lifted and I feel lighter as I walk through the world again." I remember that feeling and I want to feel it again. So I am not going anywhere. Perhaps I just needed a break from it for a while. I hope I haven't lost all my readers.
Did you here? Eden won Best Australian Blog 2012, she is amazing and deserves such an honor. Please go over and congratulate her.
So I am still feeling unbalanced. I know I need to make big changes, big decisions but I am not getting anywhere with them really. I have plenty of ideas, I just don't know which fork in the road to take. It's probably the time I need to write it all out and get it out there so I can find some clarity in my thoughts.
I will do that.
Tomorrow marks 2 years since Max passed away. Two years. I find that hard to believe. I still have that vision of him dying in my head. It has got easier, like most people told me it would. But I still miss him so much. I miss his company, I miss his cuddles, I miss his scent...I just miss him. A few people have asked me what am I going to do tomorrow. I don't know, what do you do to mark two years of your husbands passing? I will go visit him at the cemetery with Boo, I might take him some flowers. I will buy a coffee and sit and hang out with him for a while and have a chat and no doubt a cry. That is what I will do. Then I will take Boo to his swimming lesson, then have a playdate with friends, then drop Boo off at my sisters to stay the night so I can go to the Prince concert with my nephew. I think that is a good balance of grieving and distraction. I hope it is anyway.