Getting Inked Again Part 2

My Mum was a craftswoman, she knitted, she crocheted she stitched she embroided she did it all and all really well. Bea can vouch for that she owns one of her beautiful baby blankets.
My Mum would would never sit and have still hands, she couldn't, she didn't know how to be still she would always be making something or working on some project. That was her pass time, her therapy.
She learned from her mother and her mother learned from her it was passed on over the years. It wasn't passed onto me I was never interested or any good at it when I did try but it was passed on to my sister and now her daughter.

She has piles and piles of drawings she would copy from something she would see. If she saw a design she liked she would go home get her pencil and tracing paper out and try and remember it so she could use it on her next artwork.
I have a cupboard full of her handy work. Sheets, Blankets baby blankets, cot blankets, lap blankets baby sheets, cots sheets, table clothes, tea towels bed socks lots and lots of them and so does every person in my family, she never stopped. They are all beautiful and something we will all cherish for ever and pass on to our loved ones.

So that is why I chose one her many designs as my tattoo. Here it is from my Mums original drawing to my Tattoo.

In Memory of my beautiful Mother who lost her life after a long battle with cancer.
She will never ever be forgotten. RIP

 

 

Getting Inked Again Part 1

When I got my first tattoo done after Max passed away, I didn't tell my Mum I just waited until she noticed it. When she saw it she asked what that was on my leg, so I showed her and explained what it meant. She didn't comment but I knew she wasn't impressed, she never liked tattoos and had the old fashioned mind set that only criminals and bad people had tattoos. When I saw her a week later, she asked "so when are you going to wash that thing off your leg?" I looked at her like Uh?? She repeated "when are you going to wash that thing off your leg?". I just laughed and said Mum it's a tattoo I can't wash it off. She had this shocked and really disappointed look on her face and said "the older you are getting the crazier you are becoming" I laughed again. She thought it was stick on tattoo. She got over it.

So what I am going to do today I know she wont approve of, if she is watching from above, she would be saying you have totally gone nuts. It's an idea I have had for a while. I am doing it for me. To mark her one year anniversary (yes it's been a year already since she passed away. I can't believe it either.) I am getting a new tattoo. Yep in about an hours time. I wont tell you what it is yet but I will be back with photos.

I am pretty excited.

Where have we been?

We have been on lots of little adventures, some little escapes and some day trips. I love taking Boo on adventures and he loves going on them. He just takes it all in and then talks about it for days after always asking to return to see more. I love seeing his face light up with all the new experiences, even if it is just splashing in a puddle.

I have been struggling with his behavior you could say he has been going through the terrible twos at almost 3. I have been working on it or should I say we have been working on it I think we are starting to turn a corner. Thank goodness. He has also started speech therapy which I think may be helping his behavior also.

Here are some photos from our adventures.

Present!

I am here. I'm just bad at this these days. I have a half written post in my draft folder, it's been there for weeks.
So this is a hi I'm here let me share some photos post.

Sydney Opera House

Rainbow Lorikeets visiting us.

Feeding the baby animals

Going in to pat the horse

Hanging out with friends.

The Sydney Harbour Bridge

Sydney Vivid Festival

And one for a laugh...my sleeping Spiderman, because it's hard work being a Superhero.

Where Is My Toddler ?

I must be a very bad time manager, my days and weeks just keep flying bye. Seriously the weekends just come and go...pppfff another one gone. We have been very busy, lots of parties socialising outings etc. I suppose that would do it. I love that we are so busy, I just wish that the time would pass slowly. My little guy is growing up so quickly.
He made his own sandwich for daycare this morning and he isn't even 3 yet, before I know it he will be cooking me gourmet dinners (I hope). It is scary, really scary. I know everyone tells me this is the way it is but I am starting to believe it now. I am making sure to spend as much time as possible with him, doing all the fun and sometimes silly things toddlers love to do. I don't want to be robbed of this precious time.

Max's two year anniversary came and went. It wasn't exactly the way I had planned it but it was ok, I mean I got through it. It was one of those very low to very high days. Boo didn't cooperate at the cemetery chucking a big tantrum and running all over the place, not what I had in mind but it serves me right for taking him after his swimming lesson instead of before. One of the highs was the awesome night I had at the Prince concert with my nephew who was only in town for a couple of weeks before he flew back to New York where he is living at the moment.

He sat for about a minute! Boo made his Daddy the lovely card at daycare.

Princes' 360 Degree stage.

We have another very busy weekend coming up, with more parties. My son has a better social life than me. No really he does.

Time Passing

I have seriously been thinking about giving blogging away. But after reading Edens post I realised I need my blog. She writes "When I publish a post, a whole weight has been lifted and I feel lighter as I walk through the world again." I remember that feeling and I want to feel it again. So I am not going anywhere. Perhaps I just needed a break from it for a while. I hope I haven't lost all my readers.

Did you here? Eden won Best Australian Blog 2012, she is amazing and deserves such an honor. Please go over and congratulate her.

So I am still feeling unbalanced. I know I need to make big changes, big decisions but I am not getting anywhere with them really. I have plenty of ideas, I just don't know which fork in the road to take. It's probably the time I need to write it all out and get it out there so I can find some clarity in my thoughts.
 I will do that.

Tomorrow marks 2 years since Max passed away. Two years. I find that hard to believe. I still have that vision of him dying in my head. It has got easier, like most people told me it would. But I still miss him so much. I miss his company, I miss his cuddles, I miss his scent...I just miss him. A few people have asked me what am I going to do tomorrow. I don't know, what do you do to mark two years of your husbands passing? I will go visit him at the cemetery with Boo, I might take him some flowers. I will buy a coffee and sit and hang out with him for a while and have a chat and no doubt a cry. That is what I will do. Then I will take Boo to his swimming lesson, then have a playdate with friends, then drop Boo off at my sisters to stay the night so I can go to the Prince concert with my nephew. I think that is a good balance of grieving and distraction. I hope it is anyway.

Road Tripping

I started writing a blog post last week and it is still sitting in drafts incomplete. So just to let you know I am still here I am going to share some photos of our recent road trip to Western Plains Zoo, Dubbo. I can highly recommend a visit there. Boo loved it!

Unbalanced.

I am here and still breathing. I am sorry, I just don't know where the time is going?
I am feeling very unbalanced at the moment. Very confused about where I am at. I just feel like taking off. Getting in a the car and traveling around Australia, just me and my Boo. Then I think "you idiot you don't even know how to change a tyre or do first aid" (They are now on my list of things to learn ) I get this feeling from time to time. This feeling of restlessness. Maybe I just need a holiday. I don't know. I am confused about a lot of things. I can't even write about it because I don't understand it. Yes very lost.

So yeah I am here.
This little guy keeps me busy and I love that he does.